Skip left navigation

Home > A-Z Health Topics > Violence Against Women > Get help for violence > Safety planning for abusive situations

Safety planning for abusive situations

• Safety packing list
• More information on safety planning for abusive situations

If you are in an abusive relationship, it is important to create a safety plan. Domestic violence advocates and teen dating abuse advocates are people who are trained to help you create a safety plan. Advocates can:

• Figure out ways for you to leave an abuser
• Discuss how to deal with emergencies
• Suggest safe places to go, such as a shelter or the home of a friend or family member where your abuser might not look
• Help you learn about a court order of protection, which requires your abuser to stay away from you
• Suggest services and provide support

Call a help hotline to find advocates. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or TDD 800-787-3224. You can call the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline at 866-331-9794 or TDD 866-331-8453.

Abused women are not necessarily safe just because they leave an abuser. In fact, sometimes the danger is greatest right after leaving. Read our section on domestic abuse to learn more about ways to protect yourself and your children. Once you have a new home, learn ways to make it safer with locks and other security measures.

If you are leaving an abusive situation, take your children and, if possible, your pets. Put together the items listed below. Hide them someplace where you can get them quickly, or leave them with a friend. If you are in immediate danger, though, leave without these items.

Return to top

Safety packing list

Identification for yourself and your children

• Birth certificates
• Social Security cards (or numbers written on paper if you can't find the cards)
• Driver's license
• Photo identification or passports
• Welfare benefits card
• Green card

Important papers

• Marriage certificate
• Divorce papers
• Custody orders
• Legal protection or restraining orders
• Health insurance papers and medical cards
• Medical records for all family members
• Children's school records
• Investment papers/records and account numbers
• Work permits
• Immigration papers
• Rental agreement/lease or house deed
• Car title, registration, and insurance information
• Records of police reports you have filed or other evidence of abuse

Money and other ways to get by

• Cash
• Credit cards
• ATM card
• Checkbook and bankbook (with deposit slips)
• Jewelry or small objects you can sell

Keys

• House
• Car
• Safety deposit box or Post Office box

Ways to communicate

• Phone calling card*
• Cellphone*
• Address book

Medications

• At least one month's supply for all medicines you and your children are taking
• A copy of any prescriptions

Things to help you cope

• Pictures
• Keepsakes
• Children's small toys or books

* Don't share a calling card or cellphone plan with an abuser, because they can be used to find you. And if you already have a shared card or phone plan, try not to use them after you've left.

Return to top

More information on safety planning for abusive situations

Explore other publications and websites

• Breaking Up (Copyright © National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline) — This website gives tips on how to end an unhealthy relationship safely and how to prepare for the difficult feelings afterward.
  http://www.loveisrespect.org/get-help/breaking-up/
• Create a Teen Safety Plan (Copyright © Family Violence Prevention Fund) — If your safety is at risk, use this fact sheet to create a plan to keep safe and find the support you need.
  http://www.endabuse.org/userfiles/file/PublicCommunications/Create%20a%20Teen%20Safety%20Plan.pdf
• Getting Ready to Leave (Copyright © WomensLaw.org) — If you are in an abusive relationship, and you feel that you are ready to leave the abuser, here are some tips to help keep you as safe as possible when preparing to leave.
  http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=13422&state_code=PG
• Safety Planning: A Guide for Individuals with Physical Disabilities (Copyright © National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life) — This safety plan helps adults with physical disabilities deal with violence, stay safe when leaving an abusive situation, and understand restraining orders.
  http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/safetyplandisability/safetyplandisability.pdf
• Safety Planning: How You Can Help (Copyright © National Clearinghouse on Abuse in Later Life) — This booklet lists a variety of ways to help people with cognitive disabilities with safety planning if they are being harmed.
  http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/safetyplancogdis/safetyplancogdis.pdf

Connect with other organizations

• Break the Cycle
  http://www.breakthecycle.org
• Futures Without Violence
  http://endabuse.org/
• National Center for Victims of Crime
  http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbID=dash_Home
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  http://www.thehotline.org/
• National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline
  http://www.loveisrespect.org/
• Office on Violence Against Women, DOJ
  http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/
• Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
  http://www.rainn.org/

Content last updated May 18, 2011.

Resources last updated May 18, 2011.

Return to top