News>Overcoming sexual assault: A victim's candid story
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An Air Force senior airman prays and recalls the challenges she’s endured April 10, 2012, at the base chapel at Royal Air Force Mildenhall, England. The Airman is a rape survivor and is paving the path forward in life and in her career. She continues to dedicate much of her time to her faith and now is also devoted to helping those who may have suffered the way she did, sexual assault victims, she said. (U.S. Air Force photo/Master Sgt. Kevin Wallace)
An Air Force senior airman reads the April 10, 2012, at the base chapel at Royal Air Force Mildenhall, England. The Airman is a rape survivor and said her faith has been extremely significant in coping and recovery. She’s a victim advocate in the base sexual assault prevention and response program. (U.S. Air Force photo/Master Sgt. Kevin Wallace)
An Air Force senior airman prays and recalls the challenges she’s endured April 10, 2012, at the base chapel at Royal Air Force Mildenhall, England. The Airman is a rape survivor and is a victim advocate in the base sexual assault prevention and response program. (U.S. Air Force photo/Master Sgt. Kevin Wallace)
by Master Sgt. Kevin Wallace
100th Air Refueling Wing Public Affairs
4/13/2012 - ROYAL AIR FORCE MILDENHALL, England (AFNS) -- Living has always been a challenge for Senior Airman Jane Smith.
Seemingly born into an uphill world, physically and emotionally tested at every step, spirituality had continually strengthened her and still propels her forward in life, she said.
Smith was nearly driven to suicide after being sexually assaulted in 2010. Though raped and robbed of her dignity, 21-year-old Smith rebounded, vowing, "I'm going to make it."
To some, Smith's story may be all too familiar; to others, it's an unbelievably grim tale. For Smith, it's a tragic account of a life she's lived and matured from. She said she hopes that through the price she's already paid, others may grow stronger and wiser.
Smith's calamity started at birth.
Born to a drug-addicted mother, Jane was abandoned before her second birthday, lived briefly in a foster home and was later adopted by the man she grew to know as, 'Dad.'
The young Jane had trust issues and always felt she was living someone else's life.
"Still, through dedication and persistence, I did well in school, and studied difficult subjects like Latin and (higher) maths," Smith said.
The adolescent Smith continued to distrust. Her dad was physically abusive, which when compounded with her troubled past, led to constant headaches and despair.
"I was a runaway by 17, lived briefly in a shelter, but continued to study on my own," she said. "I really liked school and wanted to be there."
Smith's future looked bleak and she found herself contemplating suicide, she said. Two things continued to propel her forward when life seemed to continue to crumble around her.
Smith was a devoted Christian and felt strongly that suicide was the ultimate betrayal to God and to the few who loved her, she said. Secondly, since the tender age of 7, the year her mother died, Smith always wanted to serve her country.
She believed that serving in the Air Force made her a part of an organization that strengthened the frail, and provided a top-notch education for those who hadn't the means to attend college, she said.
She still had a dilemma - to enlist, she first had to finish high school.
Against her better judgment, Smith agreed to return home, with a promise from her dad that the abuse wouldn't continue.
He kept his promise and Smith prevailed. She shipped off to Basic Military Training at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas, in July, after her high school graduation.
Entering the Air Force meant a new life for Smith and after BMT, she was trained in her Air Force specialty, earned senior airman below the zone, earned an annual career field award in 2010, and was on her way toward her goal of making chief master sergeant.
"For the first time in my life, I felt like nothing could stop me," said Smith.
But just as she felt things were finally going good for her, a friend betrayed her in an unthinkable manner.
During a temporary duty in at a stateside location, that 'friend' stripped her of her clothes, held her down and raped her, as she begged him and pleaded with "no, please stop, I don't want this!" the entire time, she said.
"(The alleged assailant) and I stayed on the same floor of our hotel," recalled Smith. "He came over to my room to watch a movie with me. I didn't see him as a threat and was friends with him at home station, so I didn't see a problem with watching a movie together.
"When he got to my room and started watching the movie, he started trying to touch me and asked if I wanted to (mess around sexually)," she said. "I told him, 'no.' He didn't take no for an answer, pinned me to the bed and stripped off my clothes, then ..."
Smith said she was then raped.
Smith, a 5-foot-tall, 93-pound female was easily pinned down and couldn't break free, she said.
After being raped, the assailant then tried to hug her, in a manner as if they had just made love consensually.
Feeling sick, scared, ashamed and used, Smith quickly got dressed, pretended nothing happened and left.
She continued to serve the final week of her TDY working nearly side-by-side with her assailant.
When she returned home to her base on America's East Coast, Smith's coworkers noticed a drastic change in her.
"I left for my TDY a smiley and friendly (Jane), and returned something else," she said. In fact, Smith's supervisor noticed she never smiled, was withdrawn, and would make frequent trips to the bathroom and return looking like she had just stopped crying.
A friend, who was also a rape survivor, confronted and confided in Smith, admitting that she had been raped and feared Smith was showing the same signs she did.
Smith revealed the truth about what happened on her TDY, she said. Her supervisor and coworkers were very supportive of her, and she filed an unrestricted report with her base's sexual assault and response coordinator.
Smith relocated to the 100th Logistics Readiness Squadron in early 2011 and is currently a victim advocate for Royal Air Force Mildenhall's SARC, Kimberly Dickman.
Now engaged and set to marry in 2014, Smith is paving the path forward in life and in her career, she said. She continues to dedicate much of her time to her faith and now is also devoted to helping those who may have suffered the way she did, sexual assault victims.
When asked by Dickman to speak out about her experience, Smith gladly volunteered.
"If telling my story can help other people, then that's what I want to do," said the energetic Smith, who hopes to deploy soon.
"I still want to serve my country," she said. "I love the Air Force and volunteer for every deployment that my rank qualifies me for. Being raped partially defines who I am now, but will never define who I'm going to become. If ... no ... when I make (chief master sergeant) someday, I'm going to do everything I can to help foster a healthy team of Airmen."
(Editor's note: Jane Smith is a fictional name. The actual name, assignment and TDY locations of the alleged rape victim are withheld. However, other facts are all actual accounts given by the alleged victim.)
Comments
5/14/2012 4:02:39 PM ET SrA Smith my absolute highest regards to you for sharing your story with us. Although I just came on active duty as a new LT I was quick to join SARC and become a Victim Advocate to support our people just as much. May the incredible strength and courage you have used to succeed continue to serve you well in the future. You are an inspiration to us all. - LT J. RAM
Jason Ram , NAS Pensacola
5/4/2012 2:48:37 PM ET This was so horrid to hear yet admirable with how strong she has been. I went through the same ordeal with a military cop a year ago i went to therapy and joined a support group but never expected to a year to the date be diagnosed with PTSD i get through each day as best as i can the memories never fade butt like her i am studying psychology and hope to help other victims
missy, Alconbury
4/23/2012 12:15:51 PM ET First I want to thank SrA Smith for sharing her story and striving to overcome what happened as well as support other victims of sexual assault. Second was the alleged rapist ever prosecuted
Angela, Georgia
4/20/2012 11:23:26 AM ET I think these brave women story is real. We need more women who were raped to come forward and maybe the Air Force will be a better place. I wish her nothing but the best from this day forward.
RON, houstontx
4/17/2012 11:12:15 AM ET This story really hits close to home. I'm glad to see someone else preserving through adversity such as this.
Nguyen, Offutt AFB
4/17/2012 11:06:49 AM ET @WJT...I have the same problem every now and then but it usually goes away if you hit the refresh button on the story's main page.
Me, Everywhere
4/17/2012 9:38:44 AM ET I dont understand why the main screen states there are 15 comments but I only see 5 every time I open this story.
WJT, Mildenhall
4/17/2012 8:32:05 AM ET I agree the band comment is out of place but his point is valid --- too many nonesense and feel good stories out in the Air Force. This story is real and is something people can learn from --- not a story about a great trumpet solo at Base X. I'm with the retired Chief on that.
Dale W., Edwards AFB
4/17/2012 4:25:34 AM ET Teresa I'm a woman in the Air Force and in a traditionally male career field and feel shame for the way you were treated back then. Rest knowing things have improved. Great story
bomb loader, Lakenheath
4/16/2012 11:24:46 AM ET I think every opportunity to tell a story like this is a good opportunity. Like the other said thank you real Jane for telling your story and again nice job on this MSgt Wallace.
SMSgt Dunbalk, SW Asia
4/16/2012 10:09:04 AM ET What a great article. An important story told by a talented journalist.
AD Chief, Kadena
4/16/2012 9:55:28 AM ET to Ret CMSgt Joe.what is the point of making a comment that is ridiculusly out of place so you dont like a band comment on that story space. bringing random crap to this story takes away from the brave airman. you come across as a raving agry has-been when in reality you should come across as the ultimate professional.
Fb, Charleston.
4/15/2012 6:12:27 AM ET It would be worthwhile to hear the ALLEGED assailaint's account of the evening.
Mike, WA
4/13/2012 6:32:13 PM ET What a brave young lady. While I think your goal of being a CMSgt is great remember it is just a rank. You are already a leader don't let the rank define you. I am sure your story will help more people than you will ever know. God Bless You.
dg, AZ
4/13/2012 5:09:46 PM ET Wow...what an amazing article. Thanks to this wonderful young lady for sharing her story. Your willingness to speak up will help many others do the same.
Sherri, Colorado
4/13/2012 4:33:17 PM ET Please continue to tell real life stories.....I have since retired but when I was in the AF my supervisor was trying to 'evil'his way into me becoming a protitute. I couldn't speak about it and no one could help me. I am a Christian and 54 years old now and still I am crying to this day. I came in the AF in 1978 where men ruled and my life as I new it died.
Teresa, Eglin AFB
4/13/2012 4:21:00 PM ET A heartfelt story. God bless Jane for sharing. My hope is the coward who raped her was served justice. Jane keep telling your inspiring story.
Herbert Hunter Jr., Maxwell AFB-Gunter Annex
4/13/2012 4:10:30 PM ET To Joe Ret CMSgt at Offutt...Why did you have to bring the band into this Your comment cheapens what this brave Airman has gone through. You should be ashamed and as a retired Chief...should know better. Save your hatred of the bands for those articles you much dislike.
Dave, Boston MA
4/13/2012 2:07:39 PM ET I couldn't help but feel an amazing sense of strength by this young Airman and not just for this tragic event but for overcoming all of the odds. Yes Judy why can't we have more 'real' stories like this and less focus on which of our many bands performed at what ever event no one goes to.
Joe Ret CMSgt, Offutt
4/12/2012 10:58:38 AM ET Amazing story thank you for sharing
Natalie Winkels, Mildenhall Victim Advocate
4/12/2012 10:05:20 AM ET Your choice to share this speaks highly of your character and your strength. Remain this strong and you will achieve that goal of CMSgt and you will help a lot of Airmen along the way.
Jim Gragg CMSgt, Tucson AZ
4/11/2012 4:02:41 AM ET Thank you so much for sharing this story. It is truly an honor to have someone like this serving their country. I wish her nothing but the best from here on out. Amazing person.
Hillary Chlebisch, 100FSS
4/10/2012 11:22:14 AM ET I wish the Air Force told more honest stories like this. What a brave young lady
