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That way you stagger your car at a stoplight so that your window isn't lined up directly with the car next to you so as to avoid awkward eye contact and/or open-window singalongs.
I was sure to do the stoplight stagger so that guy next to me wouldn't hear me singing along with Justin Bieber.
Freaking-out over that special online purchase that's supposed to be delivered before Christmas.
Husband: Why are you so on the edge this week? And what's up with the rash on your arms?
Wife: I'm waiting for Suzy's Christmas Gift to be delivered. I think I have HPA - Holiday Package Anxiety. According to Fed Ex, it's been in Philadelphia for 4 days. I knew I should have purchased her gift on Black Friday!
The seagull manager flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything then flies off again leaving a big mess behind
by anonymous
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Food that has fallen to the floor that you pick up and eat anyway
Chase was making a ham sandwich in the kitchen one sunny afternoon. Clumsily, he dropped a slice of ham on the floor, but picked it up remembering the 3-second rule, exclaiming "floor sample!". His mother shuddered with disgust.
When you lead someone on via text message.
Sal: what are you saying to him?!
Rachel: i'm tease texting him and saying that i want him to drill my vag hahaha Sal: lmao you're bad
Heavy anal flow resulting from excessive alcohol consumption often accompanied with severe pains
Christ, I have got some serious beeriod pains right now.
I neet to go and have my beeriod...
Expressing oneself using several business buzzwords in rapid succession.
Alex released his synergasm onto the crowd, "At the end of the day, we have to leverage our value add paradigm by aligning our solution with our customer centric core competencies."
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