Podcast Transcript: 'I'd Rather Be Here Than at the Pool'

Date: 08/18/2008 | Time: 08:49 | Size: 8.1 MB

NCFY staff member Eman Quotah talks to an adolescent girl about her life and her experiences in a summer program for at-risk youth. Visit these afterschool and out-of-school time links for more information about positive activities for young people.

EMAN QUOTAH: [music] Welcome to the Summer 2008 podcast by the National Clearinghouse on Families and Youth. Our project's supported by the Family and Youth Services Bureau of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. I'm Eman Quotah, a writer and editor with the Clearinghouse.

Today we hear about one young person's life and how she spent her summer vacation. In July, I spoke with 15-year-old Kristian at Sasha Bruce Youthwork, a youth serving agency in Washington, D.C. that receives funding from the Family and Youth Services Bureau for its runaway and homeless youth programs.

A former resident of Sasha Bruce's emergency shelter, Kristian was participating in the youth group's summer enrichment program, which offers daily activities to young people who couldn't otherwise afford to go to summer camp. Kristian, who spells her name with a K, and dots her i's with hearts, has six multicolored braids, a heart-stopping smile, and a troubled history. [music]

KRISTIAN: Me and my stepfather go into it. He'd just tell me since ... he'd be like, "Since you think you're grown, then you go ahead and leave out of my house. Don't come back." And then I would tell him, "You're not my father." And he'd be like, "I am your father. You don't know who your father is."

That's when I started to be disrespectful. Because I don't like for nobody to tell me I don't know my father. And I do know my father. My father, he been locked up. He been in and out. Just like my stepfather. Now that my father is back in my life, I don't worry about what's going on in my mother's house. Because I know that I'm not going to get love from her like I'm supposed to. But I know I'm going to get it from my father's side.

I don't listen to what my stepfather says to me. I lost all respect for him. He once called me and my sister out by our name. Called us a B. That was disrespectful. So I just went on and I told him, "You ain't this. You ain't that. I'll get somebody to kill you." I don't want to deal with him no more. Well, now that he live with us, I just tell him I'm gone. Don't say nothing else to me. And I leave out ... out my house door. I come back later or maybe not.

Me and my mom, we had an argument. And I was being disrespectful. So my mom said she wanted me to stay at Sasha Bruce for 2 weeks.

I was mad because I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be at home with my family. But as me getting used to Sasha Bruce House, I had to realize this was helping me to get myself together. So I can go back home with my family and start over. [music]

I was standing upstairs. And it was a girl that was in my room that was with me. She had stole two of my shirts, some of my clothes. I didn't say nothing to nobody because I had got it back. So then she went in my notebook, took my homework, my Social Security number that I had written on a paper. So that came up missing.

I seen her putting it in her notebook. I go upstairs, look at my notebook. It's missing. So I go downstairs. Ms. Kim asked me what's the matter. I said, "Nothing." So I lied to her. So I go in there and I ask her, I said, "Why do you keep stealing my stuff?" So I said, "You know what?" I just walked off and turned back around and we got to fighting.

Then the lady, Ms. Kim, tried to break it up. But nobody could control me because I was upset. She had to call the police. The police came and locked me and the girl up. I had a charge for assault. I almost beat her to death.

I had to talk to a psychiatrist because I wanted to commit suicide. I wanted to kill myself. I got frustrated. I was angry. I was confused. So when I was staying here, they brought, um, it was this family thing that came here and talked to me. And I had to write a safety contract to let them know that I would not commit suicide or harm nobody. If I get frustrated, confused, angry, I would go talk to Ms. Fay. Ms. Fay was my counselor when I was here. I would talk to her, Ms. Kim, Ms. Jackie or I could call my grandmother.

I trust my grandmother no matter what happens me. She described me as a good intelligent little girl. I'm beautiful. I have a good head on my shoulders. Sometimes I make the right choices and sometimes I don't. [music]

EQ: Sasha Bruce's summer program offers a weekly roster of activities, including art, dance, acting, HIV/AIDS education, nutrition education, college preparation, a summer reading program and a photo journal group. There's also a field trip every Friday.

K: I was supposed to have a summer job. But I chose not to do that. I'd rather do the summer enrichment program. I'd rather be here than at the pool. Because I'm not learning nothing at the pool. I learned that hip hop, all that dancing, came from ballet.

She did the little ballet step. That was too hard. Because she was up on her toes. But she said use your right foot and kick out to the front. And you bring it back to the back. And then you lift it up. And then you put your arms up to the top. And then you just spin. You come back and then you drop.

I was watching her. But I just can't do it. A hip hop move, well, the heel toe. You dance on your heel and you just switch your feet around. That's called the heel toe. She did the ... it was called the front and then the back. You go front. Then you go back, front and back. [music]

The lady that came in about college, she was telling us about high school dropouts. I might be bad. But I'm an intelligent young lady. I have a good head on my shoulders. Everybody always say how can she be so bad so grown? … She got goals. That always been my goal to go to college. I want to be a lawyer. Once you say something and it's wrong and you think you're right, I'm going to go back and forth with you until I prove that you were wrong and prove to you that I'm right.

Like when the girls, we had a problem. And they was arguing. I was in the middle. And I was telling them that by us arguing, it's not going to get us nowhere. They going to be like I don't want to hear all that. I don't got time for it. And then y'all not going to ever get the situation out if you sit down and put y'all differences to the side, then you will understand what the problem was and how y'all can fix it. And that's what lawyers do. They're a competitor. [music]

I either listen to music, that calms me down. Or I just sit down. I go into a room with nobody and I write poetry. Maya Angelou poem, Phenomenal Woman. That was my favorite poem. It was ... how did that poem went? It was the bend of my hand, the bend of my hand, the arch of my back. It was something else and something else. And then it was me, phenomenally, phenomenal woman. That's me. That was my favorite part.

Because she's a phenomenal woman. She's a good person. A woman that's independent. She do things on her own. But sometimes from here and there, she's going to need help. [music]

EQ: Sasha Bruce's summer program has given Kristian opportunities to explore her potential and to become more comfortable reaching out for help when she needs it. Long after summer ends, Kristian and many young people like her across the country, who are served by the family and Youth Services Bureau's Runaway and Homeless Youth Programs, will have a place where they can stay if they need to, where they can turn to a trusted adult for advice. And where they can find the nurturing that every phenomenal young person needs. [music]

(END OF TRANSCRIPT)