Writing Tip: Avoid gobbledygook
Writers sometimes fill their sentences with words that are unfamiliar, unnecessary, or too large for the occasion-also known as gobbledygook. Our readers are busy people who don't have time for wordy, hard-to-read documents. Good writing should never include gobbledygook.
Avoid gobbledygook by doing the following:
Using specific, concrete words. We want our writing to be as clear as possible. Below are a few commonly used words we should replace with more concrete words.
| Common Word | Concrete Word | Common Word | Concrete Word | |
| Assistance | Help | Modification | Change | |
| Advised | Told | Necessity | Need | |
| Additional | More | Perspective | View | |
| Correspondence | Letter, inquiry | Prior | Before | |
| Concur | Agree | Proceed | Go | |
| Determine | Decide | Purchase | Buy | |
| Demonstrate | Show | Pursuant | According | |
| Encounter | Meet | Ramification | Result | |
| Feasible | Likely, possible | Render | Give | |
| Indicated | Said | Request | Ask | |
| Inform | Tell | State | Say |
Poor—During the telephone conversation, Mr. Doe identified himself and requested the realtor provide him information concerning the assets for sale.
Better—During the call, Mr. Doe identified himself and asked the realtor to give him information on the assets for sale.
Poor—I am responding to your correspondence of November
29, 2002.
Better—I am responding to your letter of November 29, 2002.
Using strong verbs. The more we use verbs in place of noun phrases, the clearer and less wordy our writing becomes.
| Not this | This | |
| Make an assessment | Assess | |
| Have a meeting with | Meet with | |
| Make a decision | Decide | |
| Come to an agreement | Agree | |
| Make an announcement | Announce |
Weak—The General Accounting Office made a recommendation that we take the program under review.
Stronger—The General Accounting Office recommended that we review the program.
Weak—Ms. Doe made a suggestion that we require her employer to provide for catch—up contributions in its 401(k) plan.
Stronger—Ms. Doe suggested that we require her employer to provide for catch—up contributions in its 401(k) plan.
Avoiding false subjects. False subjects are words like it is, it was, there is, there are, and there was. They usually occur at the beginning of a sentence and often displace the real subject
False subject—It is possible that the taxpayer may not qualify for the earned income tax credit.
Real subject—The taxpayer may not qualify for the earned income tax credit.
False subject—There is a door leading out to the public reception area directly behind the place the interviewee sits. Real subject—A door leads out to the public reception area directly behind the place the interviewee sits.
Eliminating or shortening wordy phrases. Wordy phrases use too many words to express an idea. Make your sentences short, direct, and clear.
| Don't Use | Use | |
| At this time | Now | |
| At which time | Then | |
| Based on the fact that | Due to/because | |
| If at all possible | If possible | |
| In a number of cases | Many/some | |
| It is obvious that | Obviously |
Wordy—As a matter of fact, any change to the law requires legislative action.
Shorter—In fact, any change to the law requires legislative action.
Wordy—Based on the fact that Mr. Doe is no longer a plan participant, he cannot make catch—up contributions.
Shorter—Because Mr. Doe is no longer a plan participant, he cannot make catch—up contributions.
Avoiding redundancies. Redundant expressions needlessly repeat ideas when fewer words clearly communicate the meaning. They add no value to your documents. For example, in the expression final outcome, the word final is redundant because outcome implies finality. Here are a few more examples:
| Redundant Expression | Possible Substitute | |
| Absolutely essential | Essential | |
| Reason why | Reason | |
| Specific example | Example | |
| True facts | Facts | |
| Are now currently | Are | |
| Advance plan/Preplan | Plan |
Redundant—We completed the review of your program and will give you our final conclusion within two weeks.
Better—We completed the review of your program and will give you our conclusion within two weeks.
Redundant—A balance of $200.00 still remains on your credit card.
Better—A balance of $200.00 remains on your credit card.
Eliminating legal or technical terms. Studies have shown that not only non—technical readers, but also professionals in the technical field you are writing about appreciate plain language documents that are free from technical terms. People are busy and documents written in a plain language style help them understand the information more quickly. We don't need to impress our readers with big words.
Good organization, a logical flow of information, and clear, understandable language are much more like to impress. If we need to cite legal code or court cases, we should put that information in parenthesis at the end of the sentence or paragraph it applies to or in footnotes at the bottom of the page. That way, the information is available if readers need it but does not distract from the information you are trying to communicate.
Technical—Organizations can save shipping costs by sending their brochures via Standard A mail.
Plain—Organizations can save shipping costs by sending their brochures by bulk mail.
Legal—Pursuant to Internal Revenue Code Section 86(a)(1)(A), gross income must include no more than one—half of the social security benefits received during the tax year.
Plain - Gross income must include no more than one-half of the social security benefits received during the tax year [Section 86(a)(1)(A)of the Internal Revenue Code].
